Marisa has been home for a couple of days now. Marisa still feels weak and tired so spends most of her time ‘laying low’ though each day seems to be a bit better than the previous.
We are doing our best to continue. But it is tough. Sometimes very tough.
Today Marisa sat on my lap and shed tears. Tears because her energy level is so low and right now she can’t do things that she normally does. Her physical body is also still recovering from the embolization.
I used to say to Marisa that I would take the cancer if I could. But I don’t know about that now. I don’t know if I could go through this with the grace that Marisa has been given. It is just above my thinking.
I think that her tears bear witness that Marisa has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.
Please continue your comments, they are a source of strength for us.
Peace and courage,
MdH
61 comments
Comments feed for this article
October 2, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Karin Maag
I’ve been reading the updates for awhile now, since early summer, but wanted to let you know of my prayers for you and your whole family. (I got to your site from the link on your cousin’s page after she was ill following the birth of her baby)…
I teach, and this afternoon I’m teaching for our senior citizen program…seniors can come and take any class they want for a modest fee. They’re pretty funny: any time I pause for breath, one of them is sure to raise a hand and say “This reminds me of the time I was travelling in Europe…” Tangents abound! And then there are those who fall asleep…I guess mid-afternoon is not their best time of day. I tell myself I’m at least restful.
Praying for you, for rest and hope and strength and perseverance,
Karin Maag
October 2, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Martha and Steve
Hey…
Mendelt, your words today hit right to the heart. To hear the words suffer and courage in the same sentence ……..whew!!……
But they make me think of Easter and of Jesus and your t-shirts……as incredibly hard as all of this is for Marisa and also for you Mendelt, imagine not having Jesus, who suffered for us, not on your side! Who else can better understand what you are going thru? We cannot imagine, and we don’t have to, because it is true! You are not alone!
If you have cancer, I have cancer – Jesus -
October 2, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Julia van Staalduinen
praying for strength and brighter days ahead.
love you.
October 2, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Julie Vos
Dear Marisa and Mendelt,
When I check email, I also check your blog to see if there are any new postings from you. I wondered, Marisa, if you were at your parents’ home or if you were home with Mendelt and your children. I am sure it was a blessing for you to be cared for by your parents this weekend, but I’m also sure it is a blessing to be home again with Mendelt and your precious little ones.
However, now that you are home, I guess that makes your recovery time extra tough because you see the things that you normally do and realize that you can’t do them right now. I feel for you, Marisa. I can only imagine the emotions and physical pain you are dealing with at this moment. I can only imagine the fears and anxieties and stresses you face. But, Marisa, I do imagine them and I think about them and I pray about them…
Dear Lord,
Thank you that Marisa is home again with her husband and her children. Thank you that you have given her such a wonderful, supportive familiy who loves her and cares for her so deeply.
Oh, Lord, I pray for this beautiful child of you! Please grant Marisa strength to face each day, especially now when she is so weak and tired. Please comfort her during those moments when she feels sick from being scared, when she feels anxious while waiting for test results and just worn out from this whole ordeal. Lord, we know you are mighty and powerful! Please help Marisa to continue to see your might and your power working in her life.
Dear Lord, I pray most of all, that you will grant her complete healing. Oh Lord, that is my deepest prayer!
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
When I was in grade six, I remember for some reason I had to memorize the definition of perseverance. This is what the dictionary said at the time, and I still remember it…
“Perseverance is, the determination to go on; the unwillingess to give in; and to push steadily on against difficulty and opposition.”
Marisa, I also pray that you will continue to be led by the Holy Spirit to continue to push on against this terrible disease and the difficulties that accompany it. I will continue to persevere with prayer to our Heavenly Father!
Much love, Marisa,
Julie Vos
October 2, 2007 at 2:38 pm
henri
Marisa, you have amazing courage and strength. I only wish you didn’t have to suffer like this. God gave us tears so we could cry. Remember that crying can feel really good and is also a gift from God. We love you here in BC. Please push on.
October 2, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Teresa Wunsche (Miedema)
It also takes courage to admit that.
This is all a struggle – one that many of us couldn’t face with the grace, courage and peace that you two have.
We continue to pray for your peace and continued courage and strength. And that your smile will shine again through your tears.
Peace and hope to you,
Teresa
October 2, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Lauren Heinen
Marisa and Mendelt,
Your post brought me to tears. Although I don’t comment every time, your honesty is very impactful as I read your story each time you update. You are both so tough and courageous. You go through each day and find something to rejoice about. I sit through my nursing classes each day and your story comes to mind constantly. It is one thing to learn about how to interact with a patient going through something such as cancer, but it is another thing to put it into perspective after knowing somebody who is experiencing such challenges and to know not only their health story, but also their faith story, and how they are affected in their daily life.
Thank you for your honesty. I am praying for a continued blessing of hope, courage, strength, and faith as you continue through the days.
Lauren Heinen
October 2, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Wenda en Harry Haasjes
Dear Marisa and Mendelt,
We very often think of you and pray for you. We daily follow your blog. Thank you for sharing.
We feel so sorry that you have to cope with this all. What a journey. It must be very tough!
If all people that read your blog and think of you and pray for you could carry just a little bit . . .
Harm Jan, our eldest son (12), saw me reading your blog. “Gaat het al wat beter met Marisa?”, he asked. I told him what I just read and for a while we were sad together. Then I asked him what to write on the blog. He said: “Heel erg beterschap. Heel erg verschrikkelijk veel beterschap”.
We love you too!
Wenda
October 2, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Veronica
Hi Marisa
When Mendelt is holding you, Jesus is holding you.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Continuing to pray, for strength and peace.
Veronica
October 2, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Robyn Bezuyen
Cancer is above our thinking. But so is GOD. I tell you that sometimes it is so hard to understand His ways. Why why why is all we can ask sometimes and often the answer is silence. But if we wait…and listen hard enough, sometimes we hear it…I love you my beloved. Really? we ask. No, not really…definately, unconditionally and without hinderance. Praise God. Oh, but in the here and now we have disease, tears, sadness, anger and death. Jesus wept. And oh how we are allowed to weep too. Let it out to God. He has the biggest shoulders to absord the most tears. So cry, shout, rail and in the end wrap yourself in His loving arms and rest.
Love from a sister in suffering,
Robyn Bezuyen
October 2, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Tina
Jesus turns suffering to beauty, and both of you are blessing more souls than you can imagine.
October 2, 2007 at 5:48 pm
mendelt en willy tillema
Dear Mendelt and dear Marisa ,
We feel so sad for you and our family in the situation you all are in.
Stay in front off all of your most deeply feelings, because that will result in the solution …how to go through the way you have to go.
You all are in our thoughts.
Love and dear greetings,
Mendelt en Willy.
October 2, 2007 at 7:13 pm
Harriett
Marisa and Mendelt – No words can express how deeply sad we feel that you are going through this terrible time. May God continue to give you courage and strength for each new day. We pray for you every evening and often when I wake I think about you and offer a prayer for you. Your candid expression of your feelings is heartwrenching and yet we can only say that it makes us pray all the harder for you both. May God look on you with compassion and give you better days ahead soon. Harriett and Frank Draaistra
October 2, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Heather Struyk
praying for you and thinking of you every day
October 2, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Michelle Fluit
We continue to keep you in our prayers. May God continue give you the strength you need to face each day.
October 2, 2007 at 7:44 pm
g
comments and words…a scattered reflection…..
how do you tell someone in fresh and new ways that you are loved; that you are unique; that you inspire……?
or….how do you tell someone in fresh and new ways to press on; to dig really deep; to fight through to the other side……?
…….maybe one of the reasons God sent His Word is that he grew a little tired of words – actions speak louder than words they say and a picture is worth a thousand words they say…
however and but — M&M –– through your words I see actions that speak of grace and commitment – through other blogger’s words I see faith, hope and love.
It really is a beautiful word picture. I pray we never tire of using words to continue painting a lasting mural to His glory.
GT
PS Fuck Cancer
October 2, 2007 at 8:20 pm
j&j
m&m,
when we first heard of this whole cancer thing, we thought we could be the ones to give you strength and courage.
however, it seems that you have shown us courage, and shown us strength.
marisa, you continue to be an inspiration to us, your strength is incredible.
we love you.
we’re praying for you both.
peace and love*
j&j
ps- mendelt we love you too : )
October 2, 2007 at 8:33 pm
James & Shannon Dueck
Tears can wash the dust from our souls. M&M, thank you for shining so bright, so true, with sincere faith, and spectacular joy.
In the middle of the night (especially, it seems) we pray for you. 2 Timothy 13-14 over you now…
13 Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard…, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. 14 That good thing which was committed to you, keep by the Holy Spirit who dwells in us.
Hugs.
Shannon & James (friends of C&C Groot)
October 2, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Janine Ferrier
Hugs & prayers.
October 2, 2007 at 9:43 pm
sandra zuidema
My heart is crying out for you and my prayers are all for you.
Take courage, Marisa and Mendelt, because “he will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your sheild and your rampart.” I pray you will be able to sleep peacefully tonight.
October 2, 2007 at 9:49 pm
Ann @ Holy Experience
“The courage to suffer…” I will never forget this. Never.
Marisa? Even though you may feel weak, know how you are pouring out strength and courage into our feeble hearts. Because Jesus is in you.
I pray for you early, throughout, and late.
You are loved.
And underneath are His everlasting arms.
October 2, 2007 at 10:18 pm
Susanne Wood
I love you, Marisa.
You shine.
You are courageous.
You have the most beautiful smile.
You have such a loving and beautiful family.
I pray, now, for comfort and strength and HEALING.
You are so LOVED!
Susanne
October 3, 2007 at 12:30 am
Lynn Groot
Thank you for being so open and honest and giving everyone a new perspective into the world of cancer. I wish and pray that you didn’t have to teach us all so much, but with your courage and strength, I know you can still fight through this as you have up until now. Praying healing and strength for the both of you,
Lynn
October 3, 2007 at 5:50 am
Jan Gerzinus and Margreet
Dear Mendelt and Marisa,
What a fight, this journey through cancer-land.
When I read your blog, I thought of something I (as a pastor) sometimes say in a conversation with tears: psalm 56:9 “Mijn omzwervingen hebt u opgetekend, vang mijn tranen op in uw kruik.” (8 in English: You have taken account of my wanderings, put my tears in your bottle).
We wish you get enough courage to get through this suffering and enough strength to hold on.
Margreet and JG
October 3, 2007 at 7:42 am
Corrie
Dearest Marisa & Mendelt
What difficult stuff to read. My tears flow with yours and my prayers rise up constantly to the God and Father of us all. Our Father, our physician. Oh may He hear the cries of His people for complete healing in your life. May He wipe away every tear and give us songs of joy! Sometimes it seems so difficult to hang on to His promises, yet we know He holds you in the palm of His hands, carrying you every step of the way. What a beautiful picture Mendelt of you cradling Marisa, being as Jesus would have you to be. Thank you. May He continue to give you both all you stand in need of. You are loved. cJz
October 3, 2007 at 8:31 am
Christine Schilstra
Morning VanderVeens!
I have not yet responded to all the last blogs – so heartfelt and gut-wrenching. Again, I just don’t know what to say. It’s times like these when praying just doesn’t seem like enough (my own lack of faith I’m sure)…is there anything you need?
Thanks to Gary’s comments. I love his “PS”!!
God bless you so very much this day! May you feel His presence in a real and mighty way and may His peace wash over you.
Love, Christine
October 3, 2007 at 8:53 am
Victoria
“But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers; unless there was some rain.”
Praying for you always.
October 3, 2007 at 9:25 am
Astraea
You whole family is in my contiued prayers. Share your yoke with Him and He will give you rest. God bless.
October 3, 2007 at 10:06 am
Bev Boden
“Open the eyes of my heart Lord, open the eyes of my heart, so I can see you”. This is one of my favourite songs and through you, He has certainly opened the eyes of many hearts!! You both are inspirational. I will continue to pray for the courage, peace and healing that you need.
Bev
October 3, 2007 at 11:37 am
Andrea O'Neill (Clark)
Dear Marisa
Reading your blog is so inspirational and the other people’s comments are amazing too. I wish I had such words of wisdom like that. I don’t, but thankfully God still hears my prayers anyway and we continue on praying for you.
Keep smiling!!
Andrea
October 3, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Grace & Norm
. . we continue to uphold you in our thoughts and prayers!
Love . . Grace and Norm
October 3, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Joel Ringma
Mendelt and Marisa,
There is a sermon by Frederich Buechner where someone tells him, “You have been a good steward of your pain.” It is a shocking, troubling and disarming statement that Buechner doesn’t know what to do with. As I read your weblog, especially today, I cannot help but think that both of you are such good stewards of your pain.
I wish you didn’t have to be.
Maranatha,
Joel
PS The meditation can be heard at the following link (look up Frederich Buechner, it is his only sermon on the site):
http://cep.calvinseminary.edu/thisWeek/podcastsArchive.php?field=s&direction=a
October 3, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Yvonne and Terry Veldboom
Psalm 42
My soul is yearning for Your living stream
My heart is aching for You
All that I long for is found in Your heart
You are everything I need
You are everything
You are
Continuing to pray unceasingly for strength, courage, and healing
With love, Yvonne and Terry Veldboom
October 3, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Freda Van Arragon
Dear Marisa & Mendelt
I continue to hold you young people in my prayers. This blog/web site has become such as inspiration of courage, faith, honesty and painful reality. Sometimes I just groan within myself at the pain your journey is taking you on. A dear young friend (28) of ours has just moved to cancerland and I will send him to this site for inspiration. Thank you for your witness.
I pray that you may enjoy the Thanksgiving weekend and for a few days just forget about the cancer – you are so much more than cancer and at times you must long for “normal” conversation. Enjoy the kiddies and spouse. I give thanks for people such as yourselves who in turn encourage so many other people.
Love, Freda
October 3, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Michelle Prinzen
My heart aches for you! Be strong and courageous Marisa! God will give you that strength if you lean on Him!
Love Michelle
October 3, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Marsha (Nijp) Daggett
Over the last couple of days I have heard that a church we are affiliated with is having special services on October 18th and 19th at 7 pm. The church that is hosting the event is Antioch Christian Ministries located in Woodslee (between London and Windsor). Their guest minister is Kobus van Rensburg who has a huge healing ministry.
The following is a quotation from the poster on Antioch’s website (www.acmrevivalcentre.com): “During the last week of January 2000, the Holy Spirit fell on Kobus in a very special way. Although miracles were always present in their ministry, it cannot be compared to the last five years. More than 5000 cripples have miraculously thrown away crutches and stood up out of wheelchairs. Cancers and HIV have become regular weekly healings.” Note: more than 8000 people have been healed of HIV, AIDS, Cancer, Diabetis, Strokes, etc. in his ministry. I have seen a DVD of Kobus’ s ministry and the power of God is very real.
Marisa, I encourage you to attend. You NEED to be there. So many people are praying and believing for a miracle for you but you also NEED to be where the healing presence and power of God is and where the miracles are happening. You NEED a miracle and you NEED to be at these services.
Please check out the website. You can find additional information and directions under upcoming events or the calendar. I also suggest that you try to go on the Thursday evening. Our pastor’s wife thinks that once word gets out about these services there may not be room for everyone on the Friday night. If you can only go Friday night I suggest you try to arrive early just in case. My husband and I plus many members of our church plan to be at one or both of the services I pray we see you there.
Love & Prayers,
Marsha
October 3, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Wilma
Your honest blog is an encouragment to many people. You both are a powerful witness where your strength comes from and an example for us all. We continue to pray for healing and God’s comforting care in this very difficult period.
Love Pete and Wilma
October 3, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Rebecca Stieva
Hello. Marisa, you give me inspiration every day.
Still praying for you.
Rebecca
October 3, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Brian and Ellen Vyn
My eight year old son is writing a Prayer book. Each page has a different prayer on it and I would just like to share with you his “Prayer about sick people”.
Dear God:
Please help the sick people get better. Lord, we know lots of people that are sick. Please help them get better. Please help Mrs. Vanderlaan and Marisa as they have cancer. We really love them. Lord there is lots of people who would like to get better. Please help them. Amen
Amen to that.
October 3, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Fred and Helen Reitsma
Dear Marisa and Mendelt,
We pray that the Lord will carry you through this difficult time, and bring you to a time of healing and joy.
Love, Fred and Helen
October 3, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Sharon Vanschie
Praying for strength for you and your family. May you be surounded by the Peace of Christ. Peace
October 3, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Josh VanDyke
Continue to have courage and try to keep your heads held high. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers everyday.
Much love,
October 3, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Juliana Else
Marisa,
We have never met, but somehow I stumbled upon your blog. My dad has battled with stomach/esophageal cancer for the past two years, so I have felt a kindred spirit in your writings as you talk of scans, appointments, waiting, etc. I have also felt a kindred spirit in that I, too, have 3 children. I lift your children up in prayer daily, and your husband, as well. And I also felt a deep kindred spirit in that I am also a follower of Christ. Marisa, you inspire me, and move me towards a more quiet awe of our God, of this life He’s given to us, the gifts He’s given us in family and friends, and the hope we have in Him. He is faithful!
I pray for you everyday, dear sister in Christ.
Juliana Else
Harrisburg, South Dakota
October 4, 2007 at 7:32 am
Joan
Suffering – so hard!!! Tears – so fast flowing!
Marisa, I pray for God’s presence to surround you and fill you and flow through you today – only then will it be bearable. I also pray that he will give you a vision of your complete healing here on earth.
Mendelt, I pray that you will continue to be the arms of Jesus, and that you too will be given a vision of Marisa’s complete healing.
Prayers, yearning, pleading ………..reaching up. Jesus may we touch your cloak.
Love, joan
October 4, 2007 at 9:48 am
Jennifer (Geerts) Brennan
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
I’ve probably posted this verse before, but it’s one of my favourites. I hope it helps you too.
October 4, 2007 at 10:18 am
Susan
I like the definition of perserverance, and thought of this:
“let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith” (Heb 12: 1-2)
I’m praying that you will be able to keep your eyes fixed on him, and that he will have the victory here.
Susan
October 4, 2007 at 10:22 am
everydaymiracle
Marisa,
I am still praying for you.
Christ’s Peace,
Sherri
October 4, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Samantha Pellegrino
For the true disciple there is no choice but to just keep following Jesus through the darkness, though you can’t see Him or where He is going. It may be best that you don’t know. Just follow. Whether you follow well or badly, just follow. We may have to descend into Hell with Him, again, and again, but if we remain with Him, Easter is assured.
~from an article called “Suffering and the Will of God”
Hang on~
Samantha
October 4, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Marg DeJong
Thinking and praying for you everyday, Rob and Marg DeJong and AJBK.
October 4, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Joel and Carolyn Vriend
Marisa, we will continue to pray for you and your family unceasingly. May God continue to give you much strength as you shine for Him. Keep persevering!
Love, Joel and Carolyn
October 4, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Bas en Hinke
Dear Mendelt and Marisa,
It feels so unfair that you have to go through all this. If we could just chop the cancer and side-effects in pieces and divide it amongst all the people that read this blog, it would be much more fair and easier.
Hopefully our thoughts and prayers help a little.
We wish you all the strength and courage!
Love Bas and Hinke
October 4, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Julia van Staalduinen
Emily’s memory verse for school:
Isaiah 52:7
How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who “propane” peace, who bring good “tidies” who “propane” salvation, who say to Zion………sly grin, followed by great big giggle…”Mommy, Zion’s name is in the Bible!!!”
Thought you might enjoy that!
Love you,
Julia
October 4, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Cheryl Tigchelaar
M&M – Today I talked to a wood expert about the style of brace necessary to support 80 or more pounds of hardwood above a 3/4″ upright. It seems almost impossible, but the mysteries of science matter here. By creating the right brace for the job, the weight can be distributed in such a way that it becomes possible for a great weight to be firmly-held, almost in mid-air.
We’re doing what we can to share the weight with you, so that we reduce some of the load you are bearing. I have a picture of the necessity of dozens, hundreds, perhaps thousands of us praying to provide you with the necessary counter-balance to retain rigidity. Having said that, I’m under no illusions about the load-bearing you both have to endure as pressure is constantly applied from above. Whatever part of the load God will allow us to take from you, I’m asking that He give us, so that you can bear what you must.
Praying –
Cheryl
October 4, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Leanne Riebot
Hello Mr&Mrs Hoekstra.
You give me so much hope for my faith to grow, all of your blogs open my eyes, to just see how much you have to go through, but you are still so courageous with so much faith in God.
I hope that when i grow up, i can have at least half of the faith that you both have. You are both my rolemodels.
Thank you so much.
You are in my prayers,
I hope that your kids are doing well too, they are gorgeous,
when i babysat them , i could help to just admire them, they are such precious gifts of God.
God bless,
Leanne
October 4, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Eric and Susan Knight
We are praying for strength, healing and courage every day for you. We are praying that each day can be better than the last.
October 4, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Sam & Leona
Hi Marisa, I saw your little angels at the ball tournament on Sat. They are adorable. We are praying for you and Mendelt. Take care, Leona
October 4, 2007 at 10:27 pm
Dani Bless
you are inspiration to me daily and I always walk away seeing the world and my life differently.
You are in my prayers.
Dani
October 4, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Julie klassen
I had to comment again about your inspirational blogs. I find myself checking in everyday to see if there is a new entry. Although this blog proclaims itself as a support for Marisa, I beleive more and more that it is support and inspiration for all of us who have our own struggles. I come here to get an update on your battle, and become inspired by your strength, COURAGE, and faith. Then I try to find those qualities in myself, and use them in my own battles (small as they may be). I continue to pray for strength for you to continue your battle, energy so that you can play with your kids, quiet time for you and Mendelt, and most of all healing.
October 5, 2007 at 8:55 am
Diane Bakker
Hey Marisa & Mendelt
Thanks for sharing your hearts, through you we see Jesus.
We weep with you both and continue to pray for restoration
renewed strength and a deep inner peace
love Diane
October 5, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Laura DeHaan
Mendelt, Marisa, family,
Wishing you a very blessed and relaxing Thanksgiving weekend. May you find much to be thankful for (despite the circumstances) and hope Marisa that you are feeling more like yourself this weekend. Enjoy the weather, the colours, your family, friends…
God Bless,
Laura
October 10, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Trevor Westerhoff
Thanks for this entry. Just beautiful.