And so, another results day down. I really don’t enjoy these days at all, and I’m certain that it is only through God’s strength that Mendelt and I get through them.

The news is kind of neutral. As of the time we saw our doctor, he wasn’t able to read the scan clearly enough to see if the embolization had worked/is working. He was going to let us know as soon as he found out. They did however see some very small spots (less than a cm) on my lungs and so recommended that I go on the trial drug. We had been kind of setting ourselves up for that and so the news wasn’t too disappointing. I would obviously rather not do the drug, but, for now, that is the best plan.

After the doctor left the room (to get a nurse to set us up with some paperwork) Mendelt asked how I was doing. I said–’okay, I just keep looking for God in all of this and I can’t find him’. Mendelt replied that lots of people were seeing God in me and through me though. It’s a small consolation prize I guess. We also commented that we know the God of peace, but don’t know the God of healing. I’d really like to know the God of healing….

So, we keep on going. Not much changes in our every day lives, except that when I actually start the drug, it’ll be 3 days the first week with the first day being a really long day and they put us up in a B&B! because the next morning I have to have more blood tests done. The following weeks it’s just once a week. Just. That is the ‘pain in the but’ part….but, I think I’ll be able to go by myself or have the company of friends and have Mendelt come once in a while too. My main concern is that the kids don’t have to be ’shelled out’ here and there and feel like their lives are too unstable. It’s just the mom in me I guess.

So far, the known side effects of the drug have been very mild. Only 6 people in the world are on this drug at the moment and they entered the trial at the first stage and were given 200 mg (or whatever measurement they use) of the drug. Only 1 of the 6 felt any side effects and it was mild chills, which lasted only an evening. I’ll be entering at the second stage and will be given 400 mg which is better (according to the nurse) because it’s a higher dose and will hopefully shrink the cancer more effectively. The drawback of being in a trial drug program is that everything has to be monitored so closely because of safety issues, but also for scientific reasons. Once you enter at a certain level, you can’t go up. So, I’ll only be able to take 400 mg of this drug for the length of the test–which, if it works, could be for a long time. I can stop the drug at any time, and if something else comes up that is better for me, I can exit the trial drug program and do the ’something better’.

Lots of information and lots more time spent at the Juravinski Cancer Clinic (JCC). I pray I either spend much more time at the JCC, because that means things are going well, or that I don’t have to ever go there again, because the God of healing has showed Himself….

Until the next time,

Peace and love,

Marisa