Today sucks. After having a great dinner out with Gary and Rose Tamming last night, today is terrible. That verse about being thankful in all circumstances is ringing through my head today and I wonder if Paul knew how hard it would be when he wrote it….
Cancer is sneaky, miserable, relentless and does not show love. Marisa is sick, tired and her hands are bad again. This breaks my heart.
I was going to apologize for the tone of this post but I’m not. This sucks.
Life 
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February 24, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Linda Smith
My prayers will be with you today. I’m so sorry that Marisa is having so many problems today.
Linda
February 24, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Jennifer (Geerts) Brennan
No apologies necessary. I have experienced long-term illness, and for a lot of the time, I was not thankful at all.
Praying that a rainbow will shine through the gloom.
February 24, 2007 at 8:14 pm
Christine Valk
I am continuing to bring you before the throne of grace, before our Faithful all-knowing God.
May you feel His presence, even in these “foggy” moments.
Christine Valk (nee VanHooydonk)
February 24, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Ms. Buma (a.k.a. Tine)
Dear Mendelt,
Language can’t fix much, but the stuff between the lines matters, as does the honesty with which you have posted your thoughts. It is and remains the given that it’s every harrowing bit your trek too, this cancer journey! That you are sharing it so publicly informs us to be specific in our prayers for Marisa, for you, for your kids, and for all those you love. We are commiserating with you and with Marisa and for your kids. “Lousy” comes to mind when “today sucks” and doesn’t merit any moderation of text, as might the surfacing of certain variations on the theme. ‘Yeah, cancer is relentless! Not here on this blog as an addendum, but God’s love and His grace are relentless too! Sterkte Mendelt! We are every bit with you!
My best to Marisa,
Wishing you both a restful night,
Ms. Buma
February 24, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Mike and Karen Carmody
Hey guys. We rejoice with you on the good days and feel angry and frustrated with you on the bad days. We’re praying it’s only one bad day and that tomorrow will be a lot better.
Love you lots.
Karen
February 24, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Margaret
what a differerence a day makes. My heart breaks for you guys on reading about the difficult and painful day Marisa is experiencing.
And it’s okay Mendelt to let us now how you are feeling.As you have said before: “this is cancer and there is nothing nice about it”
Thank you for sharing your feelings. We will bring it all to Jesus. He’ll understand, he experienced the pain for he came to live among us.
Hang in there Marisa.
We loveyou,
Margaret
February 24, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Wally, Mireille, Bianca, Katia
There is no need to apologize for that tone. Every feeling you have is appropriate, I’m sure. Your tone made me think of a fighter sizing up the opposition before another valiant round. Keep up the fight. Punch and push at the darkness. Move onward and upward toward the light of a better day. We are with you all the way!
February 24, 2007 at 10:06 pm
julie kingma
You’re really on our minds and on our hearts tonight as we read how you’re feeling today.
may you feel God’s presence now and through the night.
with love
Julie Kingma.
February 25, 2007 at 7:23 am
mendelt en willy tillema
Dear Mendelt,
We will let you know….we really can imagine and understand your words and feelings.
Say and say it again ….cancer is miserable and relentless.
You also are going through a very, very hard period by seeing Marisa suffering. Ofcourse it breaks your heart.
Dear Marisa,
We feel so sad for you……being so sick and tired.
Dear both of you:
We wish you try keeping on and we hope you can help eachother through these very hard times in your life.
May you get a lot of strenght.
Dear greetings,
Mendelt en Willy.
February 25, 2007 at 9:34 am
Susanne Wood
I am so sorry that you are both going through this. My heart aches for you and I cry out to God for you. Marisa, remember “The Servant Song” we sang so often at DCCS? We, your friends and family, weep when you weep, we laugh when you laugh; “We will share your joys and sorrows ’til we’ve seen this journey through”.
Today is Sunday. I stayed home from church with Jayden who is sick. I was wondering what I was going to do and now I know. I am going to have a constant prayer service for Marisa, Mendelt, Zion, Jacoba, and Zekijah.
Love and many prayers,
Susanne (and family)
February 25, 2007 at 9:57 am
Elze, Liuk en Sjoerd
Dear Mendelt, Marisa and kids,
When Anja told us Marisa had cancer I had to think of the last time we’ve met. In Varsseveld on Hans’ 60st birthday, a beautiful day in July 2005. Liuk was pregnant of Sjoerd then. We hope (and pray) that your children can give you all the strength you need even (or should I say especially) on the days that suck. Have faith and keep courage.
Love,
Elze en Liuk
February 25, 2007 at 10:46 am
Freda Schellingerhoudt
Dear Marisa and Mendelt,
I pray that God will hold you both in the palm of his hand as you together fight this enemy called Cancer.
May he give you the strengh to endure and to triumph!
I pray for your children and families as well!
February 25, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Grace and Norm
There’s a reason we hear sermons titled ‘Why Does God Allow Suffering?’ – cancer causes families like you to suffer . . and it goes on and to be in the middle of it all can only be overwhelming. We continue to pray for you . . for a God who is compassionate, allowing you to feel His presence despite the fact that cancer truly sucks! My mom, who left her earthly home at 60, often said to me, “Don’t forget to smell the roses” – it’s hard to even find the roses to smell . . but those words ring in my mind when I think of you. The little things, the tiniest things are what are given to us to remind us of a God who really does love us despite all we experience . . may you continue to feel the love of His people . .
February 25, 2007 at 4:30 pm
AB
“This sucks” could be the title of Psalm 6. “This sucks” is the language of lament…the Bible invites us to pray it… a condensed version of Psalm 6 could be this prayer… “O LORD, this sucks, I know you hear this! Amen.”
February 25, 2007 at 5:09 pm
Sonya Eikelboom
Dear Marisa & Mendelt,
It is in times like this, that you have the prayers of your friends and family to rely on…when the relentlessness of the attack beats you down. You are in our hearts, never far from our thoughts, and always in our prayers. It seems to me that your names are constantly before the throne of the Father. Know that He too is feeling your pain and hurting right beside you. Hold each other tight and don’t let go…and let the hands of Jesus minister to you – through the hands of those who are around you and want to help in any way they can. Let these warriors and servants help to carry the burden for just a while. Praying for a better day… Sonya
February 25, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Diane Bakker
Dear Marisa and Mendelt,
Our hearts go out to you on this day, of sucky days! No apologies necessary. Thank you for sharing even your worst days, in doing this you help us to know what to pray for. You can bet that there is a chorus of prayer and intercession going on today on your behalf, May the God of all comfort and consolation blanket your hearts and souls today………May He soothe your spirits and especially soothe your hands. I have eczema on my hands and it is so frustrating and inconvienient to have dry and cracked hands, I can only imagine what you are experiencing Marisa, may your hands heal quickly and may the Lord extend your patience some more!!
Keeping you all in our daily prayers..
Diane & Ralph
February 25, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Carlena Schipper
Praying that God will give you an EXTRA measure of His strenght for all of you…to get through the “sucky” times too. Wishing you well. Love Ryan, Carlena and Laryssa
February 25, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Theresa Schilthuis
This morning I was leading worship in church and we sang “Blessed Be Your Name” by Tree63 (The Answer to the Question album). I thought of how it is sometimes easy for God’s children to sing these words…and other times….
I don’t know if this is an appropriate time to share them or not, but the lyrics for the second verse and the chorus are below.
Thank you for sharing your lament – it allows your global community to know how to pray!
“Blessed be your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s all as it should be
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name”
February 25, 2007 at 9:59 pm
Alison
Hey Marisa and Mendelt…thanks for sharing real life with your family in Christ. It is only through your openness that we are able to do our share for you! When you cry…we cry, when you hurt…we hurt, when you rejoice…we rejoice. Now is our time to hold fast to one another and the promises of our Lord Jesus Christ. As Pastor Andrew shared this morning maybe it is time for a Psalm, not one of the rejoicing ones but one of the Psalms in which God is challenged and questioned…our time for Psalms of rejoicing and praise shall return as they always do in Christ. Remember the season of Lent and the promise which we celebrate in just 35 days or so…His death and resurrection and our restoration into His eternal home.
God bless you this week!!
February 25, 2007 at 10:44 pm
gary
dear friends:
This morning I went for 20k run and missed church – it was a “good” miss though. As the kms. went by I thought of Marisa and her smile and quiet personality; I thought of a “tired” Marisa as well; I thought of my family and wondered what if I was in your shoes….
Even with the conversations, the freinds, the blog, the “Molly Maids”, the great help from parents and everything else I know the struggle remains each day and is wearing thin…..
AND YET…..He sees your hurt and pain – know that with all your heart and persevere Mendalt!! As Tine says “sterkte to you both”!! I am sure we wish it was the 100 yd dash but its a marathon – pace yourself, takes lots of breaks, lean on everyone, and keep one foot in front of the other and look ahead. You are surrounded…..see Hebrews 12.
Shalom marisa and mendelt – GT
ps – someday I have to meet all these wonderful people you know. We should plan really big celebation gathering when you cross that finish line!!
February 26, 2007 at 12:00 am
Erica
Dear Marisa,Mendelt, and kids
Marisa, my heart aches for you in this terrible struggle. Mendelt, no apologies necessary- if thats how you feel… God will understand! I am praying for you all daily and sometimes many more times throughout my day, that God will give you strength when you are weak, courage when times are weighing you down, and a crowd of pray warriors to pray for you when you are unable.
Peace and love, Erica
February 26, 2007 at 9:25 am
Veronica
I’m on my knees for you guys.
love Veronica
February 26, 2007 at 9:30 am
Bryan and Susanne Zietsma
Hey Marissa and Mendelt,
You are right, it does suck, and it is so hard to understand God’s ways. He does promise to never leave you or forsake you…press on….you are being held high in prayer, by Bryan and I and especially by our Keegan who wants to pray for you at every meal and bedtime. We love you and pray for God’s healing and mercy.
Bryan and Susanne and boys
February 26, 2007 at 9:55 am
Derek and Heather Maat
All of you continue to be in our thoughts and prayers daily.
May all these prayers of all the saints carry you, strengthen you and give you hope. We plead for healing and strength on your behalf.
Heather, Derek and Family
February 26, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Kim Reitsma- VanHaitsma
We are all sticking with you, troopers. Spring is coming, and that’s always a good thing (especially if you have seasonal affective disorder; I seem to exhibit some “mild” symptoms once in a while…) You are going to do it, my dear girl! With God on your side, you are going to kick this cancer. NO DOUBTS!!!
Hope you had a good sleep last night, and I am praying for that again tonight.
Love Kim
February 26, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Ken and Dana Huizinga
Mendelt and Marisa,
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
and the world you are traveling seems all uphill.
Look to God He will help you through.
When it looks like you can go on no more,
Every way you turn in a closed door.
Look to God, He will help you through.
When the words just don’t seem to come in prayer,
And we want to shout “Hey I’m down here”.
Look to God, He will help you through.
When the pain and aches seem more than you can bear,
And you feel that you have had you’re share.
Look to God, He will help you through.
It seems frustrating to have a wonderful day and then the next everything seem to hit you like a ton of bricks. I feel for you, I pray for you, I think of you often. And Yes Cancer SUCKS. I am glad Mendelt that you feel and are so open about what you and Marisa are going through. It lets us see a little of what life is like. I rejoice with you on the good days, and cry with you on the bad. We pray that the good may overcome the bad.
We love you all greatly,
Dana and Ken
and the boys…
February 26, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Eric and Susan Knight
Dear Marissa and Mendelt,
Well, I think now is a good time to admit,… that we are huge closet bloggers :(, for that we apologize. However, daily you are on our minds, in our thoughts and in our prayers. We pray that God will give you healing Marissa and continued strengh and patience for the both of you, and your families. We hope and praying for better days ahead.
with Love,
Eric and Susan
February 26, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Julie Oosterloo-Pilling
Hello Baldwin and Mendelt,
Greetings to you on this snowy Monday. No apologies are necessary for how you are feeling Mendelt…did Jesus apologise for saying “Why have you forsaken me?” God wants to know how we are feeling…the good, the bad, and the ugly!
But we are cretures of comfort are we not? Nobody wants to experience pain or discomfort. But think of this – those who live a comfortable existance never get to truly experience Hope! My devotional today tells me that suffering gradually (or maybe not so gradually) strips away all of the pretense that props up our lives until it leaves us with nothing but hope. And it is only when we are left with nothing but hope that we can fall back into the Heavenly Father’s arms.
As Paul says in Romans 5 suffering produces perseverence (to run the marathon that your friend Gary talked about) and that in turn produces character and character, hope. The hope dosen’t come from us, rather it comes from God. An injection of the Holy Spirit straight into your heart and soul. Think of it as God’s medicine for suffering and pain! 🙂
Do we have to like suffering? No!!
Will God take away the source of the pain? Not necessarily.
But in return He gives us something more precious than the removal of the source of the pain, whether it be illness or loss or what ever it is that ‘hurts’…He feeds our spirits and nurtures our souls with a Hope that comes only to those who have experienced the blessing that nobody wants but in the end are grateful to have endured…for it makes us a changed people…hopefully a people more like Jesus.
Dear God
I’ll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
(Casting Crowns)
Love and peace to you,
Jules
February 26, 2007 at 2:47 pm
The Pols fam
Dear Mendelt, Marisa and children,
As I just read your last post, my heart was filled with sadness to hear that Saturday was not a “good” day in your books. Even in those days of much struggle and when you even feel cause to be angry, please, please, do not lose sight of the fact that every new day is a day that our Lord has made, and we are called to rejoice and be glad in it!
To have Marisa suffer so, seems as though there’s not much reason to rejoice, but thank God for each new day He grants us to see the sun rise and the faces of our beautiful children, to take pleasure in the tender kisses from our spouse and the warm hugs too, and at this time of year, to see the incredible snowflakes fly so marvelously – as they do this very moment. No one likes to see a loved one suffer, but as a result of sin, we are under its curse. Thank God that as His people we are able to praise Him for the peace that He gives us and the assurance of our salvation through His one and only Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ!
The apostle Paul certainly knew that living for Christ was not an easy task. The suffering and persecution he endured testified to his faithfulness to serving his Master (II Cor. 11:22-33), and even more so, is a testimony to us of God’s faithfulness to Paul! When Paul speaks of the thorn in the flesh, he tells us that God told Him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Then Paul responded, “Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am WEAK, then I am STRONG.” (II Cor. 12:9,10)
Even in the midst of your physical weakness, Marisa, and your inability to take that weakness and suffering from her, Mendelt, may you both take joy in serving your Master through the strength we find in Christ alone!
Praying God will give you the peace, strength, and courage you need to keep on keepin’ on.
Love and prayers always,
Cheryl, Andrew and sons
xoxo
February 26, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Thomas Harris
Hello Guys,
It does suck to hear that Marisa is having so much difficulty again. I am, however, happy to hear that you and Marisa had a great time at dinner with your friends!
You are blessed with so many friends! Your great families love you very much and even the people here (like me) who you have never met are in your corner! I was just saying to Christy how I have been inspired to read your blog posts Mendelt. Your energy, optimism, and love for Marisa really show in what you leave here for us to read.
Charlene and I will continue to pray for your family’s continued strength. When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on so long in the first place!
God is with you.
Much love,
Thom
February 26, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Christine and Chris Hill
Hi Mendelt and Marisa!
I was surfing around and thought I’d drop in a line to say hello. I’ve read some of the postings, and you are right, it does suck! You both have had great strength and courage throughout this that is so admirable, yet it’s o.k. to feel low. We are riding your high’s and low’s with you. Keep up the fight!
Often thinking of you!
Christine and Chris
February 26, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Hank and Michelle
PSALM 121
“I lift up my eyes to the hills –
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip –
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed he who watches over Isreal
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you-
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm-
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forever more.”
We pray that you both, along with your children, may sense His love and protection today.
We pray for you lots!
We love you lots!
Hoping and praying for a great day tomorrow,
Hank, Michelle, Elisa, kara and James
February 27, 2007 at 9:51 am
Annette
I’m so sorry that “today sucks”. Cancer does that. Chemo does that way too often. THe only thing to try to remember, and even that is tough, is that this chemo is going to make her better! Huge ((HUGS)) to you all as you go through this horrible day. May tomorrow be better.
With love,
Annette