Well, I passed one test.  My heart is fine and I can keep going with chemo.  Before I can continue with chemo though, they have to find out if I have a blood clot in a vein in my liver or whether it is just part of the cancer (a tumour).  Apparently this ‘thing’ has been there since February but a different technician read my cat scan this time and called it a blood clot.

So, after meeting with my oncologist, Mendelt and I met with a thrombosis (blood clot) specialist and they are not 100% sure that what is on my liver is a blood clot. SO, tomorrow, I get to have more tests done.  I’m going for an ultra sound and hopefully that will give some more answers.  Then on Friday we meet with our oncologist to set up the next chemo date.

The saddest/hardest part for me was that the cat scan also showed that the lesion on my liver went from measuring 7.2 cm to 7.4 cm.  It’s original size was 9 cm.  The oncologist said he’s not ready to throw in the towel with the type of chemo I am on yet and wants me to keep going on it.  I asked him if this type of chemo isn’t working for me anymore and he said–“it may be losing control”.

More waiting, more uncertainty, more ‘not knowing’.  After hearing the news it was really hard for me to not be negative, angry, frustrated, and to just throw in the towel.  I know that is not an option though.  My faith is taking a beating and at this moment God seems far away.  Right now, this isn’t making any sense to me, but hopefully it will soon.

We hope to have some more answers by Friday.  We’ll keep you posted.

Love Marisa

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