You may remember that a number of weeks ago Mendelt asked about t-shirt printing. Well soon after Mendelt made some t-shirts. They said

If you have cancer, I have cancer.

.                                              –Jesus–

The results are in. Jesus’ cancer grew and spread again.

Today has been a punch in the face for us again. Our oncologist said that because the cancer has spread and grown again, chemotherapy is not an option at this point.

We sat at the top of the Hamilton mountain today to cry, pray and grow. I don’t know what else to say except that I don’t know how we got from diagnosis day (december 20) to today (august 30). It must be a peace that is inexplainable. A peace that is something that can’t be understood.

But it still hurts like crazy.

The next step is to wait for a couple of new ‘clinical trial’ doctors to call us. One is going to try to do some sort of something to the liver to make the blood stop flowing to the tumors and thus temporarily stop them from growing. Another doctor is going to call us and then discuss options. And then we go from there.

I’m not willing to accept the fact that this is going to get me. I still have too much life to live and I don’t feel like I’m done living it. I admit, I don’t understand why all our prayers have gone seemingly unanswered and I confess that I’m not so ready to be a martyr for this cause. I don’t understand why God would not let me live my life here on earth that He has so abundantly blessed me with. All these questions will get answered someday–it’s just so hard to wait. BUT, until then, we will keep living our lives one day at a time. The sun is still shining brightly and our kids are still as great as ever. We love them so much.

We continue to continue.

MaV and MdH

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