Tomorrow will mark one year since Marisa was diagnosed with cancer.
Marisa and I often spoke about what a party it would be on December 20,2007 when she had beaten cancer.
I’m praying that Jesus will come back tonight. Literally.
Then I won’t have to face tomorrow.
MdH
Life 
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December 19, 2007 at 7:37 pm
Yvonne and Terry Veldboom
Marisa did beat the cancer, just not the way we all hoped and prayed. Continued strength as you face tomorrow. Blessings, yv
December 19, 2007 at 8:21 pm
Betty Steenbeek
Mendelt,
I pray for strength for you to face each tomorrow but especially on the 20th. May God’s arms surround you with comfort and love.
Betty Steenbeek
December 19, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Susanne
Dear Mendelt,
I am so sorry for your great loss and anguish. On my fridge I have the picture of your kids that Marisa sent last year at Christmas time. They remind me of Marisa and you. They remind me to pray for all who Marisa left behind. We send you great love and prayers.
Susanne and Dan and family
December 19, 2007 at 9:02 pm
JPV
Oh Mendelt……my heart breaks for you and your family.
December 19, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Natasha Van Eyk Postuma
I am praying for you, be strong, laugh, cry do what makes you feel you have to do.
Thinking of you and your family always!
Natasha
December 19, 2007 at 10:14 pm
Sonya
Oh Mendelt,
You said once that sometimes you just need someone to be silent beside you and groan with you. We’re doing just that. We are praying that this will be a day when Jesus has never felt nearer…even while He may seem far away. Our prayers go up with yours and our hearts groan with yours. Sonya & Randall
December 19, 2007 at 10:29 pm
steve
Brother, I shudder at how you have faced the PAST YEAR.
May Peace be with you, and prayers on our lips.
December 19, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Margie
God bless you and keep you, Mendelt! You are in my prayers and so many others! Be strong. Know that the Lord is with you every step of the way….through those lonely times and those “tougher than ever” times!! Our life is “but a vapor” on this earth and we will be reunited with our loved ones sooner than we can even grasp! You will be in my prayers and the prayers of many tomorrow and always!! Cry out to the Lord, for “there” you will get your strength to face tomorrow and all the other tomorrows.
December 19, 2007 at 10:41 pm
bryan and susanne zietsma
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:20
We don’t know what else to say…LOVE always, Bryan and Susanne
December 19, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Ashleigh Zandbergen
Your not facing it alone
December 19, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Frances
I am so sorry you have to face Dec. 20, 2007 without Marisa. Even though lots of us are supporting you in prayer, you are facing this by yourself and it is a lonely, lonely place to be. Sterkte, broer.
December 19, 2007 at 11:32 pm
Tom, Philippine, and Sanne Vandezande
Mendelt:
We do not know what to say because we have not experienced the loss of a loved one – We try to be empathetic – But we are unable to.
We have come back to your words again and again – my fingers hover above the key board as we try to think of comforting, supportive and encouraging things to say. We feel we need to reach out somehow. We want to say all the right words to help ease your pain tommorow – but we are concerned we may babble and fumble…
What we can do Mendelt is pray!
We pray for you often – for your children too!
May you feel “carried” in prayers tomorrow.
Shalom
December 19, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Misty
I have talked about you and Marisa and your family to many people. Please know that you have touched so many lives of people you don’t even know. I will never forget Marisa’s story and absolutely, without a doubt know that she (and you) have touched my heart forever. I don’t know if it’s of any help to know that I can only hope to be just like her. I’m a cancer survivor and have been cancer-free for nine years, but I also know that according to my doctors, it has a chance of coming back. If it does and spreads, I know the journey will be a tough road like Marisa’s. in my eyes, she’s a hero. To face things with the grace, courage and dignity that she did is nothing less than angelic and inspirational. You both faced the ultimate test and passed with flying colors. I know probably many others have said similar things to you…I’m sure I’m not alone in my high regard for you both.
Your journey now is not like you expected it would be at all…you thought you’d have your partner forever. I’m sure you miss her tremendously. There are no good words to say to someone who has suffered such a loss, except that you too, by your example have impacted my life.
My boss and I were riding in the car for business and I was telling her your story. She had seen my tears when I read the blog and saw that Marisa had passed. I was trying to explain to people how and why I was so moved about the death of a person I’d never ever met. Once I told the story and expressed how amazing your family (and your faith)was, people were interested and compassionate. The conversations that sparked as a result, made people STOP, PAUSE, and think about their lives, their health, and what they might do in the same situation. I understand that it might not seem like much…but it did have a positive impact and who knows? Perhaps, one of them will change a behavior…reflect on their family for a few minutes more…be grateful for something they may have previously taken for granted…because of your example.
I wish you all the best. You are an excellent father and you will figure things out as you go along. I’m a single parent too, so I know what it’s like to worry about how to raise them/wanting to make the right decisions. You have such a wonderful support system there, that the children will be nurtured and loved.
I pray that your pain is replaced by acceptance and joy knowing she’s filling Heaven with beautiful music.
Misty (Pennsylvania)
December 20, 2007 at 12:15 am
Loni
I feel your pain. I prayed often for the Lord to return, after our 16 year old son’s death, three years ago on the 11th. It is hard, even with Jesus. No one knows the ache of missing someone so close, unless you have gone through it. It sucks the life out of you. I am so sorry for this lonely pain you are going through, but, as everyone may tell you, it will get easier – one moment at a time – and then you may slide back – and then a few more good days. You will never ever forget Marisa – she will always be a dear sweet part of your life – esp. as you look at your child. That scar will always be upon your heart. Someday it might not sting so much, but it’s still a very open wound. It’s like you had open heart surgery, and your heart has not been closed yet.
I just shared this quote on my blog on the three year anniversary of the death of our son. It’s from “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis after the loss of his wife. I thought you’d understand this.
“Getting over it so soon? But the words are ambiguous. To say the patient is getting over it after an operation for appendicitis is one thing; after he’s had his leg off it is quite another. After that operation either the wounded stumps heals or the man dies. If it heals, the fierce, continuous pain will stop. Presently he’ll get back his strength and be able to stump about on his wooden leg. He has “got over it.” But he will probably have recurrent pains in the stump all his life, and perhaps pretty bad ones; and he will always be a one-legged man. There will be hardly any moment when he forgets it. Bathing, dressing, sitting down and getting up again, even lying in bed, will be different. His whole way of life will be changed. All sorts of pleasures and activities that he once took for granted will have to be simply written off. Duties too. At present I am learning to get about on crutches. Perhaps I shall presently be given a wood leg. But I shall never be a biped again.”
December 20, 2007 at 6:13 am
Roads
I’m sorry, Mendelt. There’s a kind of slow motion replay which jumps all over you now. All I can say is go with it, and see where it takes you. Hang on for the ride, and let it do its work.
Spirits up.
December 20, 2007 at 7:17 am
Julie Pilling (Oosterloo)
Praying for you today Mendelt…
December 20, 2007 at 7:49 am
Kimberly (Osinga) Oliver
Mendelt,
We echo your prayers.
And, we pray that you continue to have the strength to face each and every tomorrow.
Kim, Matt & Ben
December 20, 2007 at 8:09 am
The Van Geest Clan
Dear Mendelt and kiddos
Praying for you. How we wish we could take the pain away with the words we say. In the end the words seem so empty compared to the pain you have to endure. We pray that God will comfort your broken and aching heart. Just wanted to let you know our whole family continues to uphold you and the kids in prayer.
With love and tears
The Van Geest Clan
December 20, 2007 at 8:20 am
Tara and Chris
We will pray that today will be a day where you can see just one set of foot prints in the sand….and you will know why….he will carry you …and your family…..we are prayerfully walking beside you…
The Clark Family
December 20, 2007 at 8:23 am
Jan Gerzinus en Margreet
Hi Mendelt,
We’re thinking of you today. Hope and pray you find the strength to get through the day to a new, hopefully better, tomorrow.
Love,
Jan Gerzinus and Margreet
December 20, 2007 at 8:25 am
Chris & Liza Davis
May the Lord lift you up on eagle’s wings today. May He hold you and your children so close. I can’t even begin to dream of all the emotions that you have been going through. As Marisa shines on in the heavens and continues to play the piano for our glorious Saviour it is so hard to be the ones left behind. How we do long for the Lord to come in all his glory and forever change the earth that we can live eternally with him.
It is all so hard to understand that there is a party in heaven today and on earth the Lord collects your tears. Come Lord Jesus!! Literally.
We continue to hold you and your beautiful children up before the throne of God!!
Chris & Liza Davis
December 20, 2007 at 8:31 am
Scott and Jen Kooy
Mendelt,
We pray that you will feel the peace that passes all understanding. May God firmly envelope you in his loving arms. You are constantly in our prayers. Love, The Kooys
December 20, 2007 at 8:33 am
Joan
Praying that each tomorrow is easier to face than the previous one; and that each tomorrow brings you closer to your beloved Marisa.
” Joy comes in the morning “, I’m praying continually that you will have joy today.
Love, Joan
December 20, 2007 at 8:57 am
R&G
Hi Mendelt! May God help and give you strength thru this day. Must be hard when memories such as this comes back to you! It is hard for me to know but God know you 100% of all that you are going through. May He be your comfort ALWAYS! Love and prayers R&G
December 20, 2007 at 9:08 am
Janis
Thinking of you today……..
December 20, 2007 at 9:22 am
Marsha
My father died 7 1/2 years ago from a battle with recurring cancer and I still miss him every day. Like you and Marisa my family prayed and believed for a miracle that dad would be healed and the cancer would not come back. God had other plans which we still do not understand. It has taken time but I have come to realize that we may never completely understand why he died. Dad did not beat cancer nor was he healed the way we wanted him to be, but Dad has had the ultimate healing. He no longer has cancer nor does he live in fear that the cancer will come back again. So, even though Marisa wasn’t healed the way we wanted her to be we should still be able to celebrate her ultimate healing because she has beaten cancer and I believe she is celebrating her healing with Jesus today.
Blessings,
Marsha
December 20, 2007 at 10:20 am
Diane Bakker
Dear Mendelt,
To quote Pastor Andrew “is your kingdom coming Lord”? “yes, but not in the way that you think”
I am so sorry that tomorrow sucks as far as anniversaries go, but there is a party, just not in the way that you think.
Marisa gets to party with Jesus……
Thinking of you and the children and praying that the Lord Jesus with soothe your hurting heart with His love……….
You are in His Grip!
Diane
December 20, 2007 at 10:25 am
Lani
Sending you a hug to help you get through this day. I know it will be a tough one for you.
You’re in my thoughts Mendelt.
December 20, 2007 at 10:28 am
Jerri
My prayer is for courage for your day and strength.
December 20, 2007 at 10:33 am
Kim Schenk
Mendelt,
We can’t pretend to know what you are facing right now, but we do pray. We pray for peace, comfort, and we even pray for joy knowing your Heavenly Father will give you sufficient grace to face today. He promises to give. He never breaks a promise. Never.
We are praying for you…
The Schenks
December 20, 2007 at 11:45 am
Jim Krale
Medalt,
You and your children are in Trish and my prayers often. Certainly as you face this and any future “tomorrows”…
Jim and Trish
December 20, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Melanie Felvus
I don’t know you or your family but I am praying for you and your children daily. I would like ot leave you with a verse I have found comfort in…
“And just at the moment
when someone says “She’s gone”,
there are other eyes watching for
her coming and other voices ready
to take up the glad shout
“Here she comes!”
December 20, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Christine & Chris Hill
Mendelt,
I’m thinking of you today especially. It’s hard to imagine that it’s been a year already. So much has happened in between. I’m wishing I knew what to say, or what to do for you. I’m thinking about you lots! Maybe that’s enough, maybe not. I’m wishing for you a peaceful Christmas holiday, knowing (and not knowing) how tough it will be.
Christine Hill
December 20, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Kim Teeuwsen
Mendelt- I wish there was something I could do or say to take your pain away. My heart just breaks knowing how much you are hurting. Please know that we will continue to pray for you. If there’s anything we can do please call. My kids would love to have your kids over for a play-date sometime.
I know you’ve heard it probably a million times already but your blog means the world to me- it is such a testimony of your faith.
Take care and God bless.
Love,
Kim
December 20, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Linda
Praying for you… may God give you daily strength and courage.
December 20, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Liz
I’m praying.
December 20, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Wenda Haasjes-Jongsma
Dear Mendelt,
Tonight I sat with the two girls Femke (5) and Joanne (7) and read a sad Christmasstory (with a good ending ofcourse) about two children who lost their mother and grandmother. Joanne, who is a very sensitive girl, felt very sorry for the kids in the story. Then I told about you, Mendelt, and about how sad your day is today (and why). And then out of nowhere she asked: “Does Mendelt burn a candle today?” “Maybe”, I said, “shall we burn one?” She thought that was a good idea, but she didn’t dare to put it on herself; because she didn’t know Marisa very well. “Shall I burn a candle downstares?” I asked and that was OK with her.
So here I sit with a candle burning and tears in my eyes. Thinking of you, Mendelt, and of your three kids. I hope you will find the strength to go on, surrounded by people who love you.
Just know that from a distance we think a lot of you!
Hugs and kisses! I love you too!
Wenda, Harry en de kinderen
December 20, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Jennifer Geerts Brennan
I’m so sorry your party plans didn’t come true. Praying that the last few hours of today go by quickly.
December 20, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Episcopollyanna
I hadn’t read your blog for several weeks and didn’t know that Marisa had gone home to Jesus. I’ve been praying for her nightly. You and your family will remain in my prayers.
December 20, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Linda Smith
Thinking of you today. Hope you found something really fun to do.
December 20, 2007 at 10:41 pm
shell
Wishing we could ease your pain. Be strong. Tomorrow is another day.
December 21, 2007 at 10:15 am
Helen Opthof
Hi Mendelt ~ I was in your shoes 12 years ago when my dear husband Eric died of cancer. We are forever changed, it will never be the same. I had that most overwhelming feeling of being defeated even though I knew God was closer than He’d ever been. The road of grief is painful, but slowly your reality will become less painful. I’m praying for you and may not only my prayers but the prayers of everyone lift you, sustain you and give you what you need this moment and tomorrow and the days, months and years to come. In Christian love ~ Helen
December 21, 2007 at 10:40 am
Brian
Mendelt I just read your comment poseted on the 19th and it is the 21st now. I pray that you were surrounded by God’s comfort yesterday and that God and your family and friends will continue to show you their comfort and support.
May God bless you and your Family
December 21, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Rebecca Thalmann
Mendelt
I am so sorry that your wish did not come true. When I read your last post it was the 21st already so I hope that you found what you needed to get through Dec. 20 and that that will continue with you for today and beyond. I too was looking forward to that party!
Love your friend
Rebecca
December 21, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Joel and Carolyn Vriend
Mendelt, we are praying for you. May God continue to give you what you
need each day.
Take care,
Joel and Carolyn
December 21, 2007 at 11:17 pm
J.J. Bylsma
Mendelt…as we thought about you today, psalm 46 popped into my head…”God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” As christians we are so blessed that we do not ever have to carry our burdens alone, but can lay them at the feet of the one who loves us most…”be still and know that I am God”…May He grant you healing that no other can.
Steve & J.J. Bylsma
December 21, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Paulette
I do know your loss Mendelt, I have followed your strong love for Marisa for so long. I know the devastation of cancer. I lost my dearest friend to cancer after being with her when she battled so hard against through clinacales and chemo. She has been gone for 2 years now. She passed away in December as well and there is not a single day that goes by that I do not think about Linda. She was extroadinary like Marisa and Marisa reminded me so much of Linda.
I am grateful you have such rich memories Mendelt, you are not alone here we support you in our prayers and I wont stop praying.
December 22, 2007 at 10:58 am
Nancy McKinley-Diakiw
I do not feel the pain or the loss that you do, but I am sure sorry your prayer wasn’t answered – for your sake and for the rest of us too. I guess God isn’t finished with us here on this earth just yet. The song “I can only imagine” comes to mind and at least you know Marisa is not imagining anymore – she is living the reality we all long for.
Always praying for you and your family
Nancy
December 22, 2007 at 12:17 pm
marlene langendoen
Dear Mendelt,
Our thoughts and prayers continue to uphold you. May they help you face each new day.
In Christ,
Marlene Langendoen
December 22, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Chris and Heather Wiersma
Thinking about you and your kids today and every day.
Chris and Heather.