Tomorrow will mark one year since Marisa died.

I remember.

That day, this blog received 10,790 hits.  That still blows me away.

I remember those who helped us on our journey.  And I am eternally thankful.

I remember what it was like to have to make those dreaded phone calls.

I remember what it was like to have to carry Marisa to Her resting place.

I remember what it was like to have three sleepless nights before She took Her last breath.

I remember what it was like to hold Her while She took her last breath.

I remember what it was like to watch a dear father weep over his still daughter.

I remember what it was like to fill Marisa’s room with songs of lament and praise.

I remember what it was like to curse cancer.

I remember what it was like to feel unexplainable peace.

I remember what  it was like to feel the old Mendelt die.

I remember that the feeling relieved when Marisa died.

I remember taking off Marisa’s wedding ring.

I remember what it was like to have to tell Zion, Jacoba and Zekijah that their mother, their friend, the one that they were knit inside, one of their providers, their mom, their Marisa, is now in heaven. 

Last year, I didn’t know how I would get to this day while staying relatively healthy.  More about that tomorrow.  For today, we will hold our breath and see what we are given tomorrow.  I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t afraid of the sunset.

I remember.

I remember Marisa.

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