It has been a while since I have published a post here.
I thought I would give you an update on how we are doing.
We are doing okay. The kids LOVE their school, Jacoba tells me everyday something new about what she learned or hear from one of her classmates. It is beautiful to hear her speak. Zion tells me everyday about either recess, soccer or the special thing that I put in his lunch. Cool.
Zekijah is ‘used’ to being ‘shipped’ to different places while I go to work. She is still as sweet and saucy as ever.
I have recently joined a grief group run by two women who have had a significant loss in their lives. There are 5 participants, all of us have lost a spouse. We have been getting together once per week and are going to do so for the next 5 weeks. It has been good. And it has been hard. Many days in the past few weeks, the loss of Marisa has hit me like the ‘early’ days. And that has been both good and hard.
This weekend my friends Paul and Del took the kids for a fun time with their three kids. It was glorious for me. I had a chance to privately and deeply grieve with the ability to sleep in, take naps, be with good friends and only have to make lunch for one. That was really nice. Thanks Paul and Del.
Most suppers we take turns telling or retelling a story about Marisa. The kids love that. And so do I.
We shall continue to continue.
Peace to you all,
MdH
Life 
11 comments
Comments feed for this article
April 5, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Julie Vos
Hi Mendelt! Thank you for giving us an update on how you and your children are doing. Thank you also for sending the dvd – I received it yesterday. At first, I thought, “Who do I know in Vineland?” And then I looked closer at MdH and realized, “Oh, Mendelt!” I love getting mail besides junk mail and bills. It was a welcome surprise!
As you continue to continue, I continue to think of you and Zion, Jacoba and Zekijah. I continue to pray for you.
Love, Julie
April 5, 2009 at 9:11 pm
susanne
And we continue to pray and think about all of you and remember beautiful Marisa. Thank you for your post, Mendelt. I am so glad you had some time to yourself recently – it is so good for the soul.
Lots of Love and Prayers and Thoughts,
Susanne and family
April 5, 2009 at 10:26 pm
janis
love and a hug…..
April 5, 2009 at 10:27 pm
janis
You remain in our thoughts and prayers….
April 6, 2009 at 5:39 am
Robert
I started reading your blog a few months before my Dad was diagnosed with central nervous system lymphoma (brain cancer). At first, I started reading it because I saw where you attended Redeemer College which my beother did as well years ago.
But, then, in September of 2007, my father was diagnosed and I re-read all yours and Marisa’s postings to, I guess, prepare me. I quickly learned you can never be prepared for this.
Since Dad’s passing in September, I’ve often wondered how to help my Mom with this. But, amazingly, she has done remarkably well. My only concern is that she doesn’t fellowship with others. I guess I need to give it time.
Thank you for your honesty in this blog. All the best.
April 6, 2009 at 4:54 pm
diane heida
Praying for peace for you and your 3 little ones,
April 6, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Doreen Breukelman
It was good to “hear” from you, Mendelt.
We think of you often.
How nice that you were able to have a weekend to yourself. If you’re ever in the Burlington area please feel free to stop in. We miss the snow sandwiches!
Take care,
the Breukelmans
April 7, 2009 at 11:25 am
Roads
Thanks for the update, Mendelt. I’m glad you’re doing well, although not all that surprised when you say there are difficult times as well. That’s how it is.
I think sometimes that we focus so hard on getting through momentous dates like the anniversary, and Christmas, and New Year — that when they have gone we wake up to be surprised that although the days we feared have gone, the situation we face hasn’t really changed.
Another thought I have is that when life changes, as it insists on doing, sometimes that makes it harder to let go of how life was before. We want so much to go back — and if only we could.
All this is stuff which people will struggle to understand. They think that as time goes by, it must always get easier, in a smooth and happily linear way. But sadly widowhood just isn’t like that, and it impinges and overlaps on much that lies both behind and ahead. I think that Fresh Widow hit it right on when she said recently that she felt widowhood was an experience and not a status — and in many respects you take it forwards with you. But it’s really not easy. Here’s wishing you some brighter days ahead.
All warm sunny wishes to Ontario, from high in the snowy French Alps today..
April 7, 2009 at 10:20 pm
wonderloveandpraise
Thank you so much for the updates. I’ve not met you, I never had the joy of meeting Marisa, but I stop here often and continue to pray for you and the children. You continually point me toward Christ – for that I am grateful. I keep asking that the God of peace would equip you with EVERYTHING good for doing His will… that He may work in you and your kids what is well-pleasing to Him. Thanks for making that the hallmark of your life, work, and parenting, as well. You have blessed many with your perseverance, commitment, and honesty.
April 7, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Frances
I’m so happy you got a little “break” from parenting for a weekend and I really appreciate and thank the friends that did that for you! Freedom from constant “wiping” for a few days, yay! I hope that you get some “breaks” in your grief as well, and that the grief group helps.
Your post on wiping made me laugh (because I’m always wiping something myself, mostly drippy noses). But also made me think that this time of year we can remember especially that Jesus came to do the ultimate wiping for us, the wiping of our sins clear away (and our tears of grief, as needed).
Love, Frances
PS/ Hi Bubby Becky, good to hear from you on the blog 🙂
April 8, 2009 at 2:21 am
samantha
Beautiful, there’s power in the silence, and power in the storm. I’m always praying for you, and I’m so glad this blog can be a way for me to still connect. God Bless!