A kind woman stopped me yesterday.
She told me that she reads this blogand that she appreciates it. She said that she specifically connected with the post – tired.
I wondered where she was coming from.
She explained. She said that when she read that post it was the 45th anniversary of when her father died. She explained that when she read that post, she further appreciated what her mom had to go through raising young kids on her own. She was six when her father died.
The tears welled up in her eyes.
The tears welled up in my eyes.
45 years later.
I can not explain to you in words what my initial emotional reaction was.
I hugged her. I selfishly asked her if she could give me some advice about what her mom did right. She said to me, “our mom stayed home with us”.
That seems like good advice.
45 years later, the hurt was evident in her eyes. And that hurt tore through me.
I don’t think about Zion, Jacoba and Zekijah as 50 year olds. And at this point, I am not going to start.
But this just goes to show the multi-faceted sides of grief.
MdH
5 comments
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December 2, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Margie Morey
Thanks Mendelt. Thanks for sharing. It reminds me that it is okay to still grieve that my dad can’t be here to share life with us on this side of eternity. It helps me to listen and just listen some more to my friend who is living with us for two months now. She crashed with us. Ten years ago her daughter was killed in an accident and nine years ago her husband found it too much and ended his life. We grieve together and she still tells the stories as if they were yesterday. And yet….she has come to love the life God still has for her and lives with joy in the midst of sorrow.
Thanks Mendelt. Thanks for sharing.
December 2, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Samantha Pellegrino
It’s been 10 1/2 years since my dad passed away. It hurts. I was 30 when he died. The hurt always hurts, but talking about him blesses my heart and makes him stay real to me. I love him the same. I always will. It still hurts. But I also still love my life the way it is. I know joy and hurt all at the same time. And I was 30. It changes but it dosn’t go away. I know when it will though.
December 3, 2008 at 12:18 am
Anita Sloetjes
Tomorrow it’s my dad’s birthday.I was 3 when he died.My mom has alzheimers and doesn’t know who I am.I know who she is.She worked hard and sacrificed her life for her kids.Kindof what you are doing Mendelt.Keep climbing!I’m praying for you this week,love Anita
December 4, 2008 at 9:56 am
Yolanda
Last month I went to a wedding and ran into someone I hadn’t seen in over 30 years…we laughed, we reminisced and we both remembered…my mom died when I was 15…she remembered…her parents died when she was maybe 14…I remembered…tears ran down our faces. I don’t know how to explain it…but we were each blessed by the other remembering. It was kind of a holy moment.
December 4, 2008 at 9:41 pm
jb
Your family has been in my thoughts this past week as the anniversary moves closer…it has been made even more pungent by the death of a dear friend to cancer. She was recovering from surgery but things weren’t going well. When she went to the ER they told her she had cancer…two days later she was gone. I think of her husband and their three kids as they try to figure out their life without her…our lives without her…her families’ lives without her. Even though she found her true peace in our loving Father…those left behind feel the pain of her absence, the loss of that part of us that she filled. May our heavenly Father be close to you and your family during this time of rememberance.