You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January 2009.

…back to reality.

I’ve been back to work for two weeks now.  It’s quite a scene.

The mornings at work usually consist of me limping into work with one shoe untied, a soother still in my pocket, a hair tie still around my wrist and hoping that my hair doesn’t look noticeably disheveled.

And the kids on my mind.

It is going relatively well.  I sat down with the kids before I went back and told them what was happening.  I explained that things will be a bit more busy now so we will just have to have more patience with each other.  I stated that if I forget to put something in your knapsack for school, then you will forgive me.  And if you forget to change your underwear and wear the same one two days in a row, I will forgive you.

Zekijah (2) said “Come on, I don’t wear underwear”…

(she’s right).

So we just soldier on.  I’m not worried that we will make it.  It is just more complicated now.



Here is my take on Zion’s reaction.

I believe that if the village raises and loves the child well, it is only evident when that child then takes that knowledge and love and blankets others with it. 

I don’t think that Zion can give me the same amount of love that I give him.  I don’t think that same amount of love can neccesarily flow ‘up’ as it does ‘down’.

In the same way that those who follow Jesus can not give Him the love that He gives us.  It is just impossible.

So, when Zion sits in the van, he sits there as a 6 year old.  A 6 year old that is in many ways too experienced for his age.  A 6 year old that has seen the ugly side of life.  A 6 year old that can also, through grace, see the beauty of life too.  But has seen a lot of ugly.

And he listens to his flawed dad who tries to make a joke.

And when he hears the joke, he most likely first decides if he believes me, decides that he doesn’t and then takes that knowledge and blankets his sister with comfort/love.

That means the world to me.

I thought two things.  I thought ‘thank you Jesus’ for giving this kid what he needs.

And I also thought the same thing that I think of when I make a near perfect french braid in Jacoba’s hair; ‘take that cancer‘.

I appreciated the comments that I read and heard from the post ‘vegetables’. 

Thank you for those.

I would like to now tell you Zion’s reaction to my explaination.  For those that might be able to put yourself somewhat in my shoes, you might be able to understand what his reaction meant to me.  It may seem little to some but to me it is huge.

After I said that the man was being pinned by the police because he didn’t eat his vegetables Zion looked at me for a few seconds, thought to himself and turned to Jacoba and said,

“don’t worry Jacoba, he is just joking around again”.

I’ll never forget it.


We drove by a very interesting scene yesterday.

We live in a small town.  Most people know each other.  Not too much ‘big city stuff’ happens here.  Until yesterday.  We were driving and the traffic started to slow down.  I thought it was either a school bus or a tractor.  It was neither.

It was three police officers pinning a man down on the hood of his car.  The police were struggling to hold this man down.  It looked like the officers were succeeding but not without great effort.  A fourth police car was just coming to the scene.

Zion’s eyes were huge.  He watched with great interest.  We kept driving as to not be voyeurs but nevertheless the kids were affected.   Especially Zion.  He is 6.

We drove away.  Zion was still affected.  He asked many questions, one of them being,

“what do you think that man did to get in trouble with the police?”

Now I could go a number of ways with this.  Should I tell him that some people make wrong choices and that even though that happens, people are still loved?

Should I tell him that this guy probably stole something or did something that was against the law?

I wasn’t quite sure.

But I was pleased that he was so affected by it.  It was clear that he still sees injust moments as not normal.  Even after he has suffered a seemingly injust thing by losing his Mom.  I liked it that he didn’t think that this was right.

But I still didn’t know what to say to him.

So when he asked what the man did to get in trouble, I did what a good, loving, caring dad would say.

“Zion”, I said, “the man is being pinned down on his hood by the police because he didn’t eat his vegetables”.


We went to the Toronto Zoo last week. 

My friend Chris, his daughter and son, myself and Zion and Jacoba.

It was a great time.  It was a nice crisp day and the kids had a blast learning about different animals and seeing them in action.  I like watching kids smile.

I also liked it because it was two dads with kids.  Two dads with four kids.  Some people would look at us, with kids in tow, snacks, knapsacks, gloves, hats, big eyes, laughs and give that look of ‘pretty impressive, two dads’

And frankly, I thought it was pretty impressive.  The kids had a great time.

Then we started the hour drive home.  That too went well.  Chris’ wife Kelly was going to meet us for supper afterwards so Chris made a phone call to touch base with Kelly.

When Chris was about to say goodbye to Kelly, Ella, their daughter asked if she could “talk to mommy”.

I was sitting in the front seat.  Ella and Jacoba were sitting beside eachother in the seat behind me.  The phone was handed to Ella.  I turned around to watch Ella talk to Kelly.

Jacoba was looking at Ella.

Ella was talking to her mom.

Jacoba can’t.  If you have seen Jacoba’s beautiful face this may seem hard to believe but her face looked empty.

Jacoba just looked at Ella.

And Ella just talked to her mom.  Like it should be.


Shine On DVD

This DVD is of a concert put on by Marisa's family that raised funds for a yearly scholarship in Marisa's name.

Donate Now to receive a DVD