Before Marisa and I were dating I saw her at a party. The song that was playing was ‘You can call me Al’. If you know that song, you know how many words are in the song and that the words are clever and quick.
I watched Marisa and she knew every single word of the whole song. Each one. And perfectly in time. I was amazed.
That was so sexy to me.
Paul Simon also wrote a song called ‘Graceland’ which says,
“losing love is like a window in your heart everybody sees you’re blown apart, everybody sees the wind blow.”
…
…sure is breezy in here.
Life 
23 comments
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December 27, 2007 at 9:13 pm
jay vanderwier
mendelt – you sir are an amazing man! thanks so much for putting your heart out there on the great wide web
havent really seen you guys since college, and came to the funeral there, didn’t search you out, too many people, what to say anyways right? it sucks… yah, you knew that already without me to say it
but just wanted to give you the word today…
i am part of the multitude that feels compelled now more than ever to keep you and your babies in my prayers
love you always
jay vanderwier and fam.
ps – you wannna know what i have always liked about you and your frouw? the way you are never embarrassed to tell it like it is… the way you let us know that you thought it was ‘sexy’ how marisa knew the words to the song, or how you managed to get the word poop or shit into one of your comments at the funeral…you guys touch us all!
December 27, 2007 at 10:31 pm
Mark & Laura Bassie
Hmmmm. Clever and quick . . . . sounds like Marisa for sure. 🙂
Praying the breezy winds will be those of comfort and peace.
Blessings,
Laura
PS – as I was typing the word breezy and looking at it in your post, I can hear Marisa talking about her breezy gowns. 🙂
December 27, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Frances
Let God’s holy comfort breeze in.
Love you lots,
Frances
December 27, 2007 at 11:38 pm
Robyn Lamb
That’s a beautiful Memory! I love reading what you both write! It’s a love story to learn from! And again I respect your honesty and realness that you share.
December 28, 2007 at 1:08 am
Grace & Norm
. . she was definitely so right for you, Mendelt! I can’t imagine how much you miss her . . she’s reading what you’re writing and can only be smiling . . hope you’re finding some smiles too just thinking about her . . with love . .
December 28, 2007 at 1:40 am
cathyb
Dear Mendelt,
I, too, am a stranger to you, who stumbled across your blog through another blog. I can tell you, yes, it sure can be breezy “in here”, in this place you find yourself in, where I found myself in just 16 months ago. It can, and will be, at times, like a tornado, when all you can do is cling to whatever is stable and hope to ride it out. And, someday, the wind will die down a bit, and the breeze becomes a very gentle breeze and it will not hurt you, but rather, it will bring you peaceful thoughts and warm memories. I pray for you and your family, for your strength to get through the days and months to come. May God bless you and your dear children.
December 28, 2007 at 10:56 am
Paulette
Hey Mendelt, I understand that qoute as well, my spouse did not die, it just felt like death after he walked out after 22 years of marraige and I have that qoute in my journal as well.
You are probably more in a wind tunnel right now as opposed to a breeze and I will pray for that wind to subside and give you a calm peace.
may the Father hold you tight and not let go.
I am praying daily for you and your children.
Blessings today
December 28, 2007 at 11:38 am
Robyn Bezuyen
Dear Mendelt,
I still cannot imagine what you are going through. Everytime I think of holding my babies for the last time, I cannot breathe. Some one once told me that the days of work and running were easy, it was the night when everything was quiet that she had to remind herself to take every single breath. I believe her. To be able to articulate your feelings for us is a blessing. I pray it is a blessing for you too. Today I sat down and wrote a poem. I have a tendency to do this when I feel strongly about something. So here it is
Empty Inside
The wind blows hard,
The darkness settles in.
Is there anyone there?
We wonder again.
No answer comes.
We expect nothing more,
The lights have gone out.
We know what is in store.
It is empty inside.
That place that used to be full
We take a breath
And feel a little pull.
Where are we going
We wonder and ask,
The pull gets stronger
We are being taken to task
We feel it again
With each breath that we take,
A little nudge
That says, “For my sake…”
Is someone really there?
Because it still feels empty inside…
That place that my love
Used to reside.
She is gone now,
Gone from this place.
Yet her presence is felt
In almost every space.
That is why it is so lonely
Each and every day
Yet what are we told?
What does He say?
“Continue your journey
You are not finished yet
Many still need you
More than you know, I bet.”
For whose sake do we breathe?
How do we go on?
The Lord is the answer
He will help you finish your love song.
I pray that you are able to understand that I care. Shine on Mendelt – you are a blessing.
Your sister in Christ,
Robyn Bezuyen
December 28, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Kim Reitsma-VanHaitsma
Last verse popped in my head….
A man walked down the street, its a street in a strange world, maybe its the third world, maybe its his first time around.. doesn’t speak the language, he holds no currency, he is a foreign man, he is surrounded by the sound… sound… scatterings of orphanages, he looks around.. around… he sees angels in the architechture, spinning in infinity he says, “Hey, Alleluia.”
Do I love that you wrote that… I think Marisa and I both bought that tape in ’88 when it came out… Oh Mendelt, she is such a big part of my childhood. I can’t imagine how much you miss her.
December 28, 2007 at 4:26 pm
R&G
Hi Mendelt! May you feel God comforting you in everyway! It’s nice to read your thoughts and memories of Marisa! Thank you! Keep thinking and praying for you and your special family! R&G
December 28, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Roads
Great musical memories, Mendelt.
Simon’s lyrics speak volumes to a travelling Englishman, or to this one at least.
He wrote ‘Homeward Bound’ whilst waiting on an English railway station (reputedly it was Wigan). And in Kathy’s Song he memorably places his heart in England, too.
Even if it did take him four days to hitch-hike from Saginaw.
December 28, 2007 at 7:14 pm
marlene langendoen
Mendelt,
Your comment about being “breezy” reminded me of something that happened to me quite along time ago – the memory became really clear as soon as I read your comment. I went out sailing with my dad on Lake Erie; the wind was quite strong, yet we knew it would mean a great sail – a challenge that my dad and I were up for. The waves were almost too rough for us to even get the 17 foot boat out, but we finally set off. Since I was was with my dad – an experienced sailor, I felt we would do just fine; I felt safe. Well, the winds did not let up and the winds took us out much further than expected – out of view from family and friends. “Turning about”[ turning around] proved to be very difficult and after much effort in vain; we tipped. We soon realized that the same strong winds that led us out farther from shore, were the same winds that carried us back to shore, riding on the huge ways. [Thank goodness for an “onshore wind”!}. We made it back safely. Mendelt, in the midst of your “storm” may you know that your Father is with you and may all the winds – no matter how strong – always get you back to shore; to safety, to peace, to home.
With continued prayer for daily strength,
Marlene Langendoen
December 28, 2007 at 10:43 pm
Samantha Pellegrino
I want to tell you to slam the windows shut but I don’t think that’s right, I think its ok to feel the breeze. I think. What matters most is what you think. And your honesty is touching. The only cool thing I can think of with all that breeze blowing around is that her love is covering over more and more people. I’m thinking though, that holding tight to it is precious right now. I don’t know, I just don’t know.
December 29, 2007 at 12:35 am
Diane Bakker
Dear Mendelt,
May the wind that blows, be the mighty wind of the Spirit of God,
filling you and comforting you and continuing to soothe your heart
and soul.
Blessings to you and the kids,
You are In His Grip
Diane<
December 29, 2007 at 11:50 am
Dad VanderVeen
Hi Mendelt,
Back in 1988 when Marisa would play her Paul Simon tape I would hum along to the songs because I remembered them from the early 70s. She was pleasantly surprised and thought it was cool that her dad knew the tunes and some of the words. I told her that I remembered the songs as written by Simon and Garfunkel. That made her smile and she said, “Nowadays it’s Paul Simon, Dad.”
I’ve always liked the song, “Bridge over Troubled Waters.” I envisioned walking on that bridge over troubled waters holding onto the hand of Jesus.
Love,
Dad
December 29, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Lynnette
Hi Mendelt
I just wanted to say that we think about you often. I can’t begin to image the pain you are feeling. One step at a time … keep on breathing .. one breath at a time. Enjoy your beautiful children. Although they will tire you out, hopefully they will keep you smiling and moving forward. Children are beautiful gifts from God that will share their wonderful (any maybe sometimes not so wonderful) thoughts continually throughout the days ahead. It’s good to talk and listen and then talk some more and listen some more. You are all so musical … keep on playing that beautiful music in your home. It will bring you comfort and keep your home warm and cozy and comforting for you and your children. It will give you the beat that you need to carry on.
Lynnette
December 29, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Dina Vanderstelt Zomer
Mendelt,
Back in high school, when we were on the bus driven by Mr. Vandeputte, we used to sing S and G all the time. Kim, Julie, Julie, Cheryl, Monica, Andrea, Marisa and I had those dorky walkmans from way back when and we would sing those songs. And then from the front of the bus we would hear ” Sit down at the back of the bus!” We would giggle and then put the big foamy head phones back on.
I am praying that you can handle the breeze today.
Dina
December 29, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Julie Vos
Hi Mendelt,
Thank you so much for continuing to write on this blog. Like many other bloggers have said, your faith and your honesty is such a blessing to our lives.
Thank you for being real and telling us how you feel. With tears, Mendelt, I am typing this response. My heart just aches so much for you and your children!
There are so many ‘why’s’ that can seem all consuming, but I pray that you are consumed more with the love and comfort of our Heavenly Father. The same Lord and Father of dear, Marisa loves you and your children. I think it is so awesome that Zion, Jacoba and Zekijah are a part of you and Marisa. They are three precious gifts from God! I find that you can hear the word ‘gifts’ a lot, but it is true. Our children are a gift and one that Marisa obviously held in high esteem.
Mendelt, you and your children are in my thoughts and prayers. I am thankful to be part of the blog family. It’s wonderful to read about the many people that are praying for you on a daily basis. I pray that the prays of the people will be a true blessing for you.
Love, Julie
December 30, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Jim and Laura Huurman
Hi Mendelt:
I haven’t written on here for a while, but wanted to let you know that you are constantly in our thoughts and prayers.
At church this evening, we saw your so sweet daughter Zekijah with your Mom and Dad. It was wonderful to see Epeus and her running around the church and laughing. What a beautiful little girl. My girls said that she looks alot like Marisa.
This blog has been such a testimony of your faith. May God continue to be your strength and guide.
Christian love,
Jim, Laura, Ryan, Marisa and Sarah Huurman
(Members of Trinity CRC)
December 30, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Pauleen
Thank you for continuing Marisa’s story. I came to know Marisa through another blogger. Although I have never met you nor your children – please know that you are being prayed for daily. Your heartache is immense, I’m sorry it is windy.
December 31, 2007 at 11:32 am
Kim Reitsma-VanHaitsma
A line from “Graceland” that I also like,
There’s a girl in New York City who calls herself a human trampoline.. and sometimes when fumbling or flying, or tumbling in turmoil, I say, “Whoa, so this is what she means.” She means we’re bouncing into Graceland.
That tune has been in my head all weekend. Thinking about you all the time, Mendelt.
December 31, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Sonya Eikelboom
Hi Mendelt,
You were in my thoughts this morning as I was contemplating the old & new year. It is my hope that 2008 will give you new dreams to dream, new joys to live through, and new hope in a life that is vastly different than what you could have ever imagined. You are never far from our thoughts and prayers…
Sonya
January 1, 2008 at 12:00 am
Frances
I was very touched that Marisa’s dad (“Chris” to me, “Dad” to you) wrote to tell us of his memories of Marisa and the Paul Simon song. (I, too, have had the phrases “why am I soft in the middle?” and “got a short little span of attention” rolling around in my head since your blog entry about Marisa singing all the lyrics to his “You can call me Al” song. And I keep thinking that God intended to make us “soft in the middle”, fully able to feel the whole range of emotions, from intense joy to intense sadness.)
It’s a new year,
I love you so much,
Frances